Why women love bad boys…and how you can win

Women have a long history of going for the bad boy, but why do they do this?

OJ Simpson, Scott Peterson, Drew Peterson — what do they all have in common? They are bad boys! And not bad as in cool but bad as in ridiculously evil. Each implicated in murder — even if one of them evaded conviction — these men are men that women would seemingly have to be crazy (or suicidal) to even consider dating.

And yet, it was widely reported that all three had women throwing themselves at them, long after conviction. Some sources even state that Scott Peterson was flooded with marriage proposals after being convicted for murdering his wife!

Now, who really knows why? Who knows what the end games of these women really were. Maybe some simply wanted their fifteen minutes of fame, maybe others dated these men as a result of a game of Double Dare. Maybe some even wanted to see the luxury suites at Palace Station.

Really, we have no idea what each of these ladies was thinking. But, still, going for the bad boy is nothing new: Just like men have a tendency to go for the “damsel in distress,” women have a tendency to go for the man who is a little rough around the edges. So, why, exactly does this happen?

Why Women Go For The Bad Boy

  1. Women like challenges. In some respects, women and men aren't all that different: In regards to enjoying a good challenge, this is especially true. Women are only human and humans have a tendency to always want what they can't have. A bad boy represents something that a woman can't have; thus, they can't help but seek them.
  2. Women want to feel special. Perhaps nothing makes a woman feel more special than when she—and only she—is capable of turning a devil into an angel. When a man changes who they are for a woman, it makes her feel incredibly special, and not to mention powerful. Women who go for the bad boys are sometimes attempting to prove their specialness; they may genuinely believe that a bad boy will go good for the right person.
  3. Women want to help the bad boy. Just like a man enjoys helping the damsel in distress, some women enjoy helping the bad boys. They believe that they can change them for the better; even when the bay boy proves his badness, many women aren't deterred. They keep on working towards that change, believing they are truly helping the man, instead of hurting themselves.
  4. Women are crazy. Certainly not all women, but some women (and some men too) are just plain nuts. It's as simple as that.

What This Means For You

If you are a guy who has been dumped by the woman of your dreams—and now spend your nights jumping from date to date with the women of your nightmares—there is probably a strong chance that you would like to reconcile. Being a bit of a bad boy can help.

Now, I, in no way, mean that you should ever emulate an OJ or turn into an abuser, a jerk, or a genuinely immoral person. Instead, what I mean is this:

  1. Give your girl a bit of a challenge. This is easy to do: You simply must stop being someone that she can walk all over. Voice your opinions, speak your mind, and make sure that you get your way as much as she gets hers. Above all, don't act desperate; this will turn most women off faster than admitting your love for Dungeons and Dragons.
  2. Make her feel special. You don't need to be a sinner looking to be turned into a saint to make your girl feel special. Instead, there are about a million of other (legal) ways to do it. Listen when she talks, ask her questions about herself, make a point to get along with her friends (yes, even Leslie who always snaps her gum and thinks the characters from Sex and the City are real people), and tell her why you love her (be specific, women love that).
  3. Let her help you. In a relationship, just as in life, everyone—both men and women—need a little help from time to time. She may need you to change her flat tire; you may need her advice on what to wear to an afternoon wedding (hint: not a tuxedo t-shirt). Let her help you when you need it, and help her when she needs it. Part of a relationship involves being each other's rock. So, be someone she can rely on and, let her know, that you rely on her too.

Wany more adive? To learn more about getting back an ex-girlfriend, click here.